| the first update in forever |
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| 11:14am 13/06/2004 |
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mood:  curious
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Wow...
Old journals are fun to read through... esspecially when you have changed so much over the course of time. Half a year sure does leave a person in different situation.
Lets see... Over the last six months I...
I've "finished" high school.
I've got a steady boyfriend that actually cares for me.
I've got a best friend who is the greatest.
I played a major part in a musical
Lost my father
actually grew up a lot *hah*
Eh, I'm too lazy to list how I feel I've changed... But a lot of times I think if the person I was five years ago would approve of who I am now. If the girl I was ten years ago would approve of who I am now. If my mom 18 years ago imagined if I would turn out like this. What my grandmother would say to me if she was alive. What would have happened to me if I would have left Michigan and went to stay with Renee. Lots of what ifs. I guess that is a part of life, people always end up wondering. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| 11:33pm 29/12/2003 |
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mood:  crushed music: The trick is to keep breathing (in my head)
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1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?
Got a steady boyfriend
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yep I actually did; to be more content with what I have; andn I kept it!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Megan had her baby, but its not like she and I are best friends; although I do look up to her a lot
4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year
5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in good old Michigan
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?
more freedom and wisdom than last year; more sense; more Billie
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I think the party at Ashley's for my missed b-day
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
surviving?
9. What was your biggest failure?
letting myself down again
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing other than the usual
11. What was the best thing you bought?
HUMAN SOULS! MWAHAHAHAHAAH.... *blinks* actually, probably my car... but my dad bought that
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Jessie for her infinate wisdom and understanding and Kris for her endless kindness
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine as well as the majority of Tower
14. Where did most of your money go?
I had money?!?!?!?!? what little I had went to food
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
having Billie for a boyfriend
16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
my state of mind: Almost human by voltaire and Crucify by tori
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? weigh more, look slimer
iii. richer or poorer? POORER!
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I would have spent more time saying I love you to
those around me
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I would have spent less time sulking over all the things I am not/don't have
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Visiting dad in hospital, visiting granny Jackson, and visiting Bill's house to have dinner with his mother and sister (over with)
22. Did you fall in love in 2003?
*blushes* yea.....
23. How many one-night stands?
0
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Paradise hotel... *sings I've got two tickets to paradise!*
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no
26. What was the best book you read?
Ugh, I cant think right now of books
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Voltaire
28. What did you want and get?
A lead in musical, a truely caring boyfriend, friends who understand me (thank you kris and jessie), and peace with my family
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I loved the Eye
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 17 and saw Billie I believe...
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Showing people I am me regardless of what they think and say rather than hiding behind masks of who I am
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?
Somewhat dark and dreary colored but not too alternative
34. What kept you sane?
Jessi and Bill and later in the year Kris
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp/Angelina Jolie (same as it has been for the last four or so years)
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The fact US officials help out Iraq only in a struggle for more power and to make themselves seem good
37. Who did you miss?
I missed Mimi like I always do, the old old me when I was a little girl
38. Who was the best new people you met?
Well Billie's gang rocks my socks, Kris and Goat's gang is cool too
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003:
learning to truely love someone isn't what I thought it would be at all, but it has been so much fun and so wonderful to have someone to connect to.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: From the song the trick is to keep breathing by garbage
And lately I'm not the only one
I say never trust anyone
The trick is to keep breathing
She knows the human heart
And how to read the stars
Now everything's about to fall apart
I won't be the one who's going to let you down
Maybe you'll get what you want this time around |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 04:11pm 28/12/2003 |
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mood:  crazy music: The trick is to keep breathing ~ Garbage
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Hi guys.
Hows life?
Oh, just so you all know..I love you guys but I hate life.
I am having beautifully apocalyptic dreams. They are so very haunting. They are so very scary...
Feel free to drop me a line... |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| A very lovely quiz. |
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| 09:17pm 08/12/2003 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Judith - APC
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I dunno what to really say. I am very contemplative lately. I want to learn. I feel like I am almost sliding out of the shell that I was and evolving into another person. Did anyone else ever notice that although I am basically the same person at heart when I change my opinions, my physical look changes? Curious to see who agrees with me there.
You are a six-winged Halfbreed!
You belong neither to Heaven nor to Hell. You are
doomed to wander the Realms That Are In Between
for all eternity until the Judgement Day. Your
fate is absolute loneliness. You are punished
for a crime you did not commit and redemption
is not within your reach. Your powers are
unknown - it's said that a halfbreed will be
the end of everything one day. Therefore you
are feared and hated. Your only hope is to find
the other half of your soul - it is your only
solace.
What kind of supernatural being are you?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Imitation is the greatest form of flattery |
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| 02:17pm 28/11/2003 |
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mood:  content
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A great woman (Nee) wrote a beautiful post in her journal about how she cares for those and who she is thankful for. I thought I would do the same. A day late, but better than never saying at all.
So I am thankful for...
Jessie- for being more than just my best friend, but a mentor, a sister, and another part of myself. For being someone I could shoot the breeze with and feel more accomplished than if I had done something "productive." For shedding new light on otherwise dead territory. To my sister who studies buddha, believes in Jesus, and shares my name.
Renee- for starting me down the path of questioning reality, questioning myself, making me learn that I am beautiful even when I am ugly. You rock my world like no other, and I am eternally grateful for showing me the way. And offering me a place to stay in your already crowded home when I thought I couldn't stand to live with my parents anymore. My big sister who makes me feel like I will always belong with her.
Bill- for being the man thought I would never find in this existance. For being the one I want to share the rest of my life with. For ultimately saving me from myself and cherishing that part at the same time. For putting up with my crazy theories while sharing a few at the same time. for loving me, even when I am not good enough for you.
Ashley- for showing me that being dumb/cute is a good thing. For being the girl I always wished I could be. For reminding me of that girl from tatu. Most of all for being the average teen and loving me enough to think its ok for me to be weird.
Holly- for being so pretty yet so deep. for being so normal but so profoundly interesting at the same time.
Kris- for being so bubbly and sweet and the perfect girl. for sharing my love for geeky things, for the giggliciousnessnessnessnessnessness of acting like lesbians together with our cuddle time and such. For helping me make Billie jealous. :P
Joe- for being great enough to be my companion through the halls of our hellish highschool. For knowing I don't belong, but trying to make me a part anyways.
Jason- for teaching me in this life as well as others. for being so damn funny, nice, and lecherous at the same time. for helping me through the rough spots. For being such a great papa and cherishing me.
Amber- for being such a sweetheart, for loving me and helping me learn more and more about myself, and for shedding some light on my identity.
I <3 all of you guys. Each and every one of you have helped me through so much. |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| I am cool too |
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| 06:38pm 23/11/2003 |
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mood: crazy
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You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.
"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."
Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.
As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Everything is settled, I feel better. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| A rant |
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| 11:41am 22/11/2003 |
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mood:  crappy
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I am tired of feeling like I come in second after everything else you have to deal with. I understand you have your own life with your own family and your own friends and dealing with getting a job and getting into school.. but I used to be yours to. I like to think I still am. I wish you would call me and tell me everything is ok. That you are so sorry you forgot about me and that no matter what you love me and you will find a way and things can change and all the things I wish you would say. But I don't feel like that is realistic. so for now I will just rant in a friend from school's lj since I cant really tell you. Until the time comes... I will just bottle the rotted parts of my soul and sell it on Ebay. Maybe you will stumble upon it and buy yourself a bottle or two to ease the pain.
Well leah, I just couldn't be content with leaving it anon on your lj |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| 11:21am 22/11/2003 |
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mood:  cold
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I feel like Jane Eyre, at the point where she is trying to figure out why anyone would ever care for her. Fuck everything. I need to go. |
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Post |
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| A survey, although not about bubblegum flavors |
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| 03:48pm 16/11/2003 |
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mood: crazy music: FFV music
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LAYER ONE:
-Name: Jessi J
-Birth date: Feb. 22, 1986
-Birthplace: Detroit, MI
-Current Location: Warren, MI
-Eye Color: Hazel
-Hair Color: Brown with bright red highlights
-Height: I'm gonna say about 5'7 and 1/2
-Righty or Lefty: Lefty
-Zodiac Sign: Pisces
LAYER TWO:
-Your heritage: Native American, French, a bit of english and Romanian as well
-The shoes you wore today: White with pink stripes trendy tennis shoes
-Your fears: Being mundane, being alone, feeling unloved and unwanted
-Your perfect pizza: Lotsa cheese, maybe a bit of bacon and ham with green peppers
-Goal you'd like to achieve: Be someone enlightened
-Your biggest dream: To act on the silver screen while living a quiet life with Bill in some quiet little town
LAYER THREE:
-Your most overused phrase in an online messenger: *giggles*
-Your thoughts first waking up: Another day going nowhere
-Your best physical feature: umm.. body wise my legs, more facial oriented my eyes or lips
-Your bedtime: whenever I pass out
-What is the memory of what you miss the most? I miss feeling like the world has so much to offer
LAYER FOUR:
-Pepsi or Coke: I'll take some juice instead
-McDonald's or Burger King: Micky Ds
-Single or group dates: Single for more serious dates, groups for lighthearted fun
-Adidas or Nike: adidas
-Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Hot chinese tea
-Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-Cappuccino or coffee: Love both, but I really love my french vanilla cappuccino
LAYER FIVE:
-Smoke: No, Billie hates smoking, otherwise who knows
-Cuss: depends on the situation, I can cuss like a sailor though
-Sing: I love to sing! In musicals, in the shower, in the car, in school during roundtable, all the time!
-Take a shower everyday: no, I like showers because they are quick but I need long bubble baths now and then
-Do you think you've been in love: I believe I am right now.
-Want to go to college: I really hope I can get enough cash flow to stick that in somewhere.
-Like(d) high school: eh, I suppose later on I will think is was ok...
-Want to get married: Yeah... *blushes and stammers*
-Believe in yourself: Not really..
-Get motion sickness: Very rarely
-Think you're attractive: sorta... I am like the beauty queen of the ugly people if that makes any sense
-Think you're a health freak: Not really, I happen to like certain kinds of health food but only because they taste good to me.
-Get along with your parent(s): Not really, more than in the old says though
-Like thunderstorms: indeed
-Play an instrument: I used to play the clarinet
LAYER SIX:
In the past month have you...
-Drank alcohol: yea
-Smoked: no
-Done a drug: No
-Had Sex: grrr... I hate this question
-Made Out: OH YEA >:P
-Gone on a date: *smiles* I loves my Billie and he takes me places all the time
-Gone to the mall: No
-Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I never have at all
-Eaten sushi: its been a little longer than a month
-Been on stage: haha, I was yesterday
-Been dumped: nope
-Gone skating: haven't done that in a very long time
-Made homemade cookies: I made muffins, does that count?
-Gone skinny dipping: nope
-Dyed your hair: yeppers
-Stolen anything: definately not
LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-Played a game that required removal of clothing: yea
-Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope, I keep my cool enough
-Been caught "doing something": Depends on what the doing something is
-Been called a tease: hahahaha, yea lots
-Gotten beaten up: never
-Changed who you were to fit in: *winces* far too many times
LAYER EIGHT:
-Age you hope to be married: *ponders* I am thinking 22
-Numbers and Names of Children: Two children. A boy named Trent or if the child is with Billie continuing the Bill tradition(Billie eat your heart out) and the girl being named Julie or Rashel yea Rashel not Rachel.
-Describe your Dream Wedding: Me in an old style cream colored dress or a crisp white dress a somewhat old fashioned wedding or something in nature (woodsy area)
-How do you want to die: Sleeping in Billie's arms *blushes* Shut up all you dumb peoples who laugh at me
-Where you want to go to college: um, somewhere cheap *laughs* probably a community college for the first two years
-What do you want to be when you grow up: I wanna be a good person who loves doing her job
-What country would you most like to visit: England where Jessie's cousins live and I can see the fae rings in that area
LAYER NINE:
In a ...
-Best eye color: I LOVE Bills eyes, a chilling crystal blue or a deep ocean blue
-Best hair color: I like dark haired boys
-Short or long hair: Longer hair is the way to go
-Height: taller than me
-Best weight: realistic
-Best articles of clothing: I like darker dressed boys
-Best first date location: Lotus Pond!!! woot woot
-Best first kiss location: On the porch
LAYER TEN:
-Number of drugs taken illegally: none
-Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
-Number of CDs that I own: not that many, I love pirating my music
-Number of piercings: 5
-Number of tattoos: 0
-Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: a few
Donna Pinciotti
That 70's Show - Which member of the gang are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I <3 HOT Donna! |
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Post |
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| who is my demon? |
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| 06:40pm 10/11/2003 |
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mood: curious music: Ziggy Stardust- Bowie
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On Looking into the Eyes of a Demon Lover
Plath
Here are two pupils
whose moons of black
transform to cripples
all who look:
each lovely lady
who peers inside
take on the body
of a toad.
Within these mirrors
the world inverts:
the fond admirer's
burning darts
turn back to injure
the thrusting hand
and inflame to danger
the scarlet wound.
I sought my image
in the scorching glass,
for what fire could damage
a witch's face?
So I stared in that furnace
where beauties char
but found radiant Venus
reflected there.
God I love her...
Once again I find myself like Alice, constanly.. always... I sound so stupid, forgive my lack of articulation. |
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| 08:23pm 08/11/2003 |
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The lunar eclipse was gorgeous. How beautiful.. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| I am a golden god... right.... |
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| 10:15pm 06/11/2003 |
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mood: wired on coffee music: my icky cold sniffles
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i have issues. but i also recognise this fact and do what i can to resolve those issues. i may have spent a long time letting those issues control me, but now i'm ready to take the upper hand and wonder about the world around me. i'm getting to be well-balanced, but i'm not quite there yet.
how mad are you?
this quiz was made by piksy
*Sighs* Why does it seem I fall apart just when things seem to be getting better? Mew... Yea, well I have a little crush on someone I barely know but know if I got to know her I would really like her. EEP... Ah well, I love Billie and no amount of what ifs will make me disillusion myself enough to walk away from him.
On another note the choir concert was tonight and we rocked the house. I am very tired though, I am tired of being so tired. -.- What are we doing.... Where are we heading, down this road. I know where this road leads, and I know its not the place that we should end up at. yet I feel so powerless to me own moves. I feel like a pawn in some grand game of chess. I fear I will be the first to fall. Which peice will send me the blow? The knight, the queen, the king, or the bishop? |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| yummy yummy |
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| 09:54am 30/10/2003 |
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mood:  quixotic
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I win!
| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
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| goddesscotys goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Girls gone wild . | | corporateboyd gives you 12 light yellow blueberry-flavoured gummy bears. | | deliciosochick tricks you! You get a used tissue. | | dylanchapman tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy! | | girlwithagun gives you 5 purple blueberry-flavoured pieces of taffy. | | jsltapper gives you 18 white apple-flavoured jelly beans. | | krackhead gives you 6 light blue passionfruit-flavoured wafers. | | nikkalia gives you 14 light orange licorice-flavoured gummies. | | oldwolf tricks you! You get a piece of string. | | stefny_beckey gives you 13 light orange cola-flavoured jelly beans. | | warmace gives you 13 light blue root beer-flavoured gumdrops. | | goddesscotys ends up with 78 pieces of candy, a used tissue, and a piece of string. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Can it be? Is it true? |
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| 09:03pm 29/10/2003 |
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mood:  chipper music: Garbage- push it
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Yes, like Plath's Lady Lazarus I have risen from the dead!
Ok, sorry to pull that. Teehee...
But I return. I miss journaling and am being pulled into the high school lj thingie. Yea, I know. I suck. :x But someone out there has to love me enough to want me back here. |
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Read 17 - Post |
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| 01:54pm 25/04/2003 |
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mood: curious
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What am I doing? I am falling... hard. I am going to crash.. unless he is really is it... I am going to break, I will shatter... I feel as strong as glass... I pray he will catch me...Will he?? This is all so new.. I really love him.. damn my fears. Why do I have to be so scared? Aphrodite, give me strength... I need you more than ever. Please look out for me when I cant see two steps ahead of me. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| Sometimes... |
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| 12:08am 22/04/2003 |
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mood:  optimistic
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Sometimes life will kick you and spit on you and keep you down... but every now and then you can find something worth it... I am on cloud nine. Everyone pray this will last. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 11:22am 18/04/2003 |
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mood: contemplative music: Tori
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Prom is coming up and I am very excited. I had spent a few days before yesterday looking at various styles of dresses and such, trying to find something beautiful to impress my boyfriend. All of the girls looked wonderful in their dresses and I was getting more and more excited to go shopping.
I am so disgusted with the way society works right now. Yesterday was the fateful shopping day. I go up to the closest local mall and look around. Its horrible. They had very few dresses that could fit me and they were shoved in the very back away from all the size twos and fours. Nothing seemed to work. I walked out. I was shopping with my mother to spend some quality time with her and she was so upset... I tried to act like it didn't bother me but I was crushed. We ended up going to the place where I got my dresses before and I found the perfect dress... but it bothers me that I had to go so far out of my way (about an hour drive on the freeway) and that even then it was hard to get past the small sizes. I have never been too concerned with body image because I always thought either you like me or you don't. I hated my body for a short while and I am so angered.... girls cannot keep up that body image! Not even the models can without serious damage! I am the type of girl who doesn't really care anymore about image and it was very hard for me... what about girls who have problems with body image?
Sorry to ramble... I just keep thinking about how crazy our world works... Does any one else think the world is mad? |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| a creative writing thingie |
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| 11:40pm 11/04/2003 |
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mood:  artistic music: Evolution (time is pop mix) by Ayumi
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We had to write while listening to various types of music. This is what I wrote...
1. A simple song
Sung for countless ages
Added harmony
Played from a heavy heart
Even as the years pass by
Even as we grow old
Even as we cease to be
Eternally caught in a note
A single note
With the power to energize
With the power to move your soul
With the power to change your thoughts
Endlessly playing
Sent from the heavens
Sent from mother Nature to Comfort us all
2. Echoing Voices
Calling you home
Your true home
Among the Gods
Sad as it seems to argue
Call for me
Bring me home
Among your graces
Calling endlessly
Opening doors
Searching for a face behind the voice
You will never find us they say
You cannot possibly see they say
Tolling bells
Drifting along the ghostly voices
Calling
3. Humble
Growing from the original
Feeding off the other
Spiraling high and higher
Into unknown territory
Forbidden treasures lie
Everywhere
A deep breath
A dramatic pause
All of which lead to more feeding
Higher
Faster
Move me more
Send me higher!
Only to lurk back in the depths
4. Static
Full of energy
Crackle
Full of life
Burst
Spill unto the paper
Drive me
Push me
Make me go further
A tad farther
Push me over the edge
Drive me over the edge
Mumbled soft threats
Set me free
Let me travel in green
Through green meadows full of
Flowers that call to me
Let me find myself
Let me go on
Because if I stop now all is lost
5. I feel you
Slide along the shadows
I feel your threats
I feel the heat of your touch
And the ice in your heat
Like some bean sidhe I feel the omen
Like some doe I stand stunned
Like some prey I feel you hunting
Calling out with feathery touches
Hunt for me
I want you to
6. Rain drops
Falling onto velvet petals
Petals dripping on my skin
Smoothing over wounds
Little flowers
Tickle my skin
Lifting burdens and taking them as their own
Soft velvet
Little petals
A life without sorrow
You only can be
You only can live
Its all you know how to do
7. Play
Glide amongst the mists
Fae in the flowers
Your love
Glide through me
Perfect me
Into the perfect chord
Evenly matched
Live in me
Make me bloom
Send me further into myself
A simple prayer
A meaningful mistake
They mean nothing now
I am trapped
I am caught
And I love the protection you so freely give
Sliding all around me
Let me curl up in you
Let me breathe you in and not be afraid
Let me…
8. Pound
Imprint your song in my veins
Cleanse me
Purify me
Give me something to believe in
I will call once more
If you will burn and dance for me
Then I can soothe your burn with a kiss
Ice
Utterly simple, innocent, and pure
For you will change me
Into something lighter and freer
Than what I have become
9. As you grow within me
Send a spark
Shoot through me like electricity
A hidden mystery
Only found by the lost
Reverberate
Resound
Bloom
Spread your wings and fly
Coarse through my blood
Shoot through the passages
And change me
Make me new
As I sit here alone
I feel you grow more
And as you spiral through,
As you pierce through me
I can only question
Is this real?
10. Rise
Rise from the east
Up above the ancient lands
Up above the sands
Above us
Above all
Send down your light
As the birds soar mockingly around you
As the clods overshadow you
As we go on like you are hardly there
I know you are Father
I know
11. Mechanical
Speaking a different dialect
Alien
Alien to you
I am not like you
And I cannot hide
I cannot waste away
Behind a mask
Away, never seeing the light of truth
I cant reach you
I cant find words
I cant get to you
I cant
12. Tick
Time dripping away
Time doesn’t matter
We have forever
All the reincarnations
All the lives
Passing by
Fading away
Destiny call muffles and obscure
Can you read the signs?
Do you accept your fate?
Can we live once more?
Can we find our true form?
Will you let me race through
The universe
Past the stars
Past the planets
Let me spiral
Spiral out of your reach
Silence
13. Its all a game
A game you cant possibly comprehend
Self punishment over petty karma
Self suffering
Escape
Join your sisters
Join your family
We will dance before the Gods
We will be happy
We will live
Join us
Let me set you free
Let me give you purpose
Let me give you a way out
14. Let it all fall into place
Flourish full of grandeur
Let the voice speak on
Let me hear the story
Drive me forward
Keep me alive
Keep me safe
Fill this need, so full of urgency
15. A beat
Sway
Dance
Twirl
Let each pluck of the string vibrate through me
I will freely dance
I will let go
Only if you will fall with me
Continue to sway
Your hands on me
Roaming
Searching
Swaying to a song only we can hear
Dance with me
16. Echo through me
Serenity at a cost
Play along the ends of my soul
Teasing
They speak
Calm yourself
Let it go
Free your mind
Let it be
I will do as you ask
I will be what you ask
I will be
Sorry for it being so long... I felt like typing it up, maybe someone will understand my words. |
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| 08:35pm 08/04/2003 |
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mood:  discontent music: ever free- ayumi
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You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Anime Sweet.Utsukushii! ^^ You probably
speak almost as much Japanese as English and
refer to people with Oriental nicknames.
How Sweet are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
1) Three weird things you used to do or believe when you were a kid.
I just lay out in the sun. no, not for a tan, not for any real reason other than to lie in the sun, it is so full of energy and life and I love the sun with everything in me!
I used to believe I wasn't my parents child. I felt I might have been Mimi's but not my grandfather. Only her. I would sit in her mirror and poke at my ears and say they are not pointy and she would pet my hair and smile like she understood. She is the woman when at 9 I could sit up late playing cards while smoking and talking about religion and death. Yea, I never was too much of an actual child. I felt like she was the only person in my actual family I was related to.
I thought my brother was an alien. Well, not an alien.. but he reminded me of how different I was too. While they labeled him Autistic they didn't know what to call me... more correctly.. they didn't even know what was different about me. they only saw the good daughter side of me... never the girl with feelings and personal goals and ambitions.
2) Three odd/funny facts about your family -- NOT your immediate family (parents/ siblings), but beyond that.
er.... I don't really know that much about my family... I am part native american and my family was part of the leaders of the tribe. I had some form of gypsy in me, according to my grandmother and she was jealous of me for that. Erm... my family is not related closly but some how my family line (on both sides at some point) are from the same line. So basically I have the creole-ish people, and the cherokees and the gypsy wherever that is in me.
3) How your parents met, got married, or had you. (Pick one, unless they fit together).
My parents went to school together, they married and dropped out. They broke up, dad moved to Cali. Dad moves back eventually, mom breaks up with her second husband to marry dad again. Mom has me and Steven and we are the things that keep them together. *shudders* no, I remember how my parents concieved me... not something I would like to think about *twitches*
4) One interesting fact about an ancestor or distant relative, if you know any. Three if you know more, but one minimum. The further back, the better.
I don't know my fanily line, like I said... my grandmother is the most interesting person I have ever met... just the things she knows... the things she was... wow, she sure was something ^.^
5) You get three wishes. All three have to be SELFISH (ie. for YOU). Sky's the limit, but you have to phrase them carefully so the genie doesn't screw you over. Ready? Go for it.
Wish 1: I would steal away all of my friends and make a huge place for all of us. Limitless funding, limitless space.
Wish 2: A stash of every single item of every single thing I am super into (animes, mangas, tv shows, movies, gaming, and such)
Wish 3: I could influence people to remember things abotu themselves/I could leave here and go back wherever I came from.
1. Name: Jessica Ann
2. Nicknames: Jessi, neko, nekoprincess, skrutwhore
3. Hometown: Detroit/Warren
4. School: WWTHS
5. Bacon bits or croutons: croutons
6. Favorite salad dressing: italian
7. What type of deodorant do you use: secret
8. Favorite shampoo or conditioner: I like really nice herbal smelling things (cant think of a name off the top of my head
9. Favorite colour(s): seafoam and various purples
10. Best friends: Jessie, Renee
12. Pets: Snuggles, Trixie
13. Favorite Movies: rocky horror picture show,
14. Favorite type of music: electronica-ish or foreign music
15. Hobbies: gaming, computers, otakuness!
16. Dream Car: sleek, white, shiny, tinted windows
17. Type of car you drive: my mothers red car
18. Word or phrases you overuse: shi-fuck (yes, I start with shit and end with fuck)
19. Toothpaste: crest
20. Favorite food: miso/sapporo/pizza/bakedpotato with cheese! :P
21. Most romantic thing that ever happened to you: when Billie asked me out, now that was just too cute for words ^.^
22. Do you get along with your parent(s)? heh, next question!
23. Favorite town to chill in: like my (insert southern accent here) dear ashley said, not in Warren
24. Favorite ice cream: vanilla
25. Favorite soda pop: vernors
26. What's your bedtime?: my parents say ten, I say one
27. Favorite shoes: green squishy flip flops
28. Favorite perfume/cologne: Josie
29. Favorite song at the moment: My will - Ayumi or endless sorrow, also by Ayumi
30. Favorite website: www.megatokyo.com
31. Favorite subject in school: Creative Writing
32. Favorite underwear: fav. pretty underware would be my baby black lined blue mesh thong with black velvet butterflys, my fav. comfie underware would be my plain old white bikinis
33. Favorite sport to watch: Volleyball
34. Most humiliating moment: ugg... way too many to think of...
35. Craziest person or silliest person you know: Ashley :P
36. Favorite Holiday: hmm... er.... I am going to go with halloween
37. What kind of work do you do: none! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH er yea
38. Are you an indoors or outdoors person? both, depends on my mood
39. what is your strongest personality attribute? I suppose my bluntness
40. Say one nice thing about the person that sent you this: I stole it from ashley, my "girlfriend" *snickers* no, she is so dumb/cute I cant stand it and I wish she was my sister
41. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? nope
42. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? other than being so damn fine its unbelieveable, no (laughs my ass off)
43. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: Billie boy, my quiet elfish looking man
44. Piercing or Tattoos?: ears, thats it
45. Have you ever been in love? *shrugs* Love is a word which I find so incredibly worthless. I feel for people.. but I hate the word love
46. What do you look for in the opposite sex?: hey! what about the same sex!! I would say eyes, smile when it comes to physical things, beyond that, smarts and tastes in things
HAVE YOU EVER:
47.Ran away from home? nope, not yet anyways *laughs*
48. Lied? yes
49.Cheated on a bf/gf? er...
50.Had a medical emergency? broke my arm
51.Gotten beat up? not really, been in fights, usually end up on top
52.Been Kissed? yea
53.Done drugs? not really
54.Gone an extended period of time w/o shaving? Shaving what?
56.Gotten in a car accident? minor one
57.Hiked a mountain? nope, something I one day wish to do!
58.Stayed home on a sat.? yeah
59.Taken a bath while simultaneously eating chocolate? *laughs* yes!
62.Seen the Eiffel Tower? pics, not really
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
63.God? umm.. Yea
64.Aliens? there has to be something somewhere
65.Horoscopes? nto the ones that are in newspapers but the process
66.Ghosts? yea
67.Hell? no, unless it is a hell you create yourself
68.Yourself? ^.^ I have to nowadays
WHICH IS BETTER?
69.Coke or Pepsi? neither!
70.Oranges or apples? oranges
71.Deaf or blind? I would hate to be either
72.Pools or hot tubs? pools
73.Blondes or brunettes? eh, doesn't matter
74.Tall or short? tall
75.TV or radio? tv
IN THE LAST 24HRS HAVE YOU?
76.Acted like a complete fool? I am sure I have
77.Helped someone? nope
78.Bought something? no, I had something bought for me though
79.Gotten sick? I am sick!
80.Not Known the answer in class? nope
81.Cut your hair? nope
82.Been mean? of course
83.Been sarcastic? actually I don't think I have O.O
84.Gone for a walk? nope
5.Gone out to dinner? nope
86.been kissed? *pouts* no
87.Felt stupid? eh, I usually feel dumb
88.said I love You? Not to anyone besides my family
89.Written a real letter? nope
90.Written a paper? nope
91.Taken a test? life is a test
92.Met someone new? nope
93.Watched a movie? nope
94.Given someone a present? nope
95.Had a serious talk? nope
96.Missed someone? yes
97.Hugged someone? yes
98.Had a nightmare? nope
99.fought with your parents? no.. but something always happens
100.Fought with a friend? nope
101.Cried? yes
WHAT IS...
102.Your most prized and important possession? my room
103.Your good luck charm: my worry stone
104.The item you worship most? my anime
105.The worst song you've ever heard? this reatrded latino song, I heard it in fifth grade
106.Most embarrassing CD in your collection? Erm... hmmm.... *ponders* maybe my old Spice girls cd...
107.Your bedroom is like: fairly empty
108.Your favorite thing for breakfast? what is breakfast?
109.Your favorite thing for lunch? nothing!
110.The best thing that happened to you today: My parents bought me anime
IF YOU COULD.......
112. If you could change anything about yourself would you, if so what?: I would make my body slimer/petite
113. If you could find out how you will die, would you want to? eh, no...
114. If you could get rid of any emotion/feeling, what would it be? I don't think I would... I have made myself numb before.. not fun
115. If you had all the money in the world, what would you buy first? I would buy the boxed set of trigun, followed by a boxed ruroni set (in a BIIIIIIIG anime mood)
oh, I am listening to a lot of Ayumi right now and various things like that. I realized why I am into Japanese things so much. My "home" that is sorta what we looked like and that is what we sounded like. its so amazing ^.^ (is super pleased with her discovery) |
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| copied from blurty because I am too lazy to bother actually typing |
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| 10:22pm 22/03/2003 |
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Well, understudy night went well first off, that makes me very glad to know I am capable of performing on stage. I made people cry *giggles* yayayayay! Beth bought me the road less traveled. She is very nice to me. ^.^
Second of all I didn't have a chance to perform my little ostara thingie with sara and erik and jessi and everyone. We didn't have time and now all I want is french silk pie :x thats what sara was going to bring. I was going to bring these pretty yellow candles I bought and we were just going to sit around. Sara likes to welcome the sun back, I like to dance to the moon *laughs* I always like to dance for the moon though :P I'm just that weirdly cool ^.^
the road less traveled is a very good book. I am going through the book underlining things I find may help me with my own problems and issues. I wish I had a doctor who I trusted who could help me with all of this. Maybe my friends will, if they don't mind the burden.
I miss everyone... Musical is a glad escape from home.. but it also cuts into my time to talk to my friends I am not lucky enough to see everyday... I miss you guys! *hugs all around* I promise as soon as musical is over I will be able to talk to all of you again. Maybe even make my cheese plans. ^.^
what do you do when you realize things cant be the same anymore... I realized this back when I made certain decisions... but what about my parents... instead of comprehending me and caring they push me further away by (actually I distance myself) from them because I fear disapointing them even more... because every day I see there faces get dimmer and dimmer to my thoughts and feelings... and what about when I am gone.. its not that long away... I mean I am 17... will they be relieved to see me go.. feel it is just one less thing to worry about.... or be sad I am gone.. or happy? I dunno, I don't want to know what my parents think and feel about me.... I know its not too positive though...
So, anyways, I am kinda blah.... they took Ashley away from me... becasue they think we are dating... its like what the hell!?!?! I really care about Ashley and we are not like that at all. yea, I think she is cute and fun and bubbly and if we weren't such close friends I would probably want to date her, but damn.. haha, they found Jordan's porn cd he gave me. that was funny.. considering it was just about all lesbian porn. ugg, mom doesn't even know... I cant even look dad in the face because I am scared he will look at me disgusted... I think if I told him I was going to leave.. they wouldn't stop me.. they would put on a show.. but thats all... in a way that makes me sad.... because even though I will be responsible in the future... that they wouldn't care if I was ready.. if I was going to go someplace safe and positive...
but yea... my life... lovely... surprising what a simple book can change your thought process... |
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